Currently Listening Rollercoaster By The Randy Rogers Band *lost and found* see related

*sigh* i thought layin on the bed for 45 minutes and thinkin about everything would help clear my head, but a lot of good that got me. i didnt get anywhere at all. i dunno what it is about this week, but it jus seems to be so damn stressful for everyone. i myself have jack shit to worry about, but yet it seems like nuthin can fall in place and everything is jus becoming more and more awful. i dont even know where to begin about adam. he hasnt seemed like himself at all this week. school has really made a different person the past couple days and its really weird. like i told him earlier today, school is more important than anything and i understand that, but iono..its jus makin him all weird this week. i dont know how to explain it..its hard to find the words. what also bugs me more than anything is that he can find the time to hang out w/ elliott the other night and drink all night and then the next night play guitar and drums all night w/ ethan. all week long he's been tellin me that he needs to take care of all his school work. iono..maybe im jus missin sumthin, but i really dont understand at all. i wanna be there for him, and love him 4ever but as the days go on its becoming harder and harder.

i also have all this to deal w/ about daniel. alann says i jus need to get over everything and marry him already. she totally loves him, and thinks that he would always treat me the way i need to be treated. i dont know anything about anything anymore. why does life have to be such a bitch. why cant we all know what we're gonna do w/ our lives and who we're gonna end up w/? to be totally honest i wanna know so badly who im gonna spend the rest of my life w/. i dont care if its a guy in my life right now or if its some guy i've never seen in my life..i wanna know so badly who im gonna be w/.

i try not to be so depressed and down about things but its really hard. when you have so much time on ur hands ur mind starts wondering and you never know where your imagination will lead you..u'll be suprised the places you'll end up.

*madi rae*

im at school and im bored outta my f-in mind!! what a way to start en entry that has been VERY much over-do. i just took an environmental science test and i honestly think i did pretty well on it. hopefull he'll give them back to us on thursday and i can see my wonderful grade..yay being positive about a test!!

i dont even know when i last wrote an entry. life has been pretty busy lately though. i've been working pretty much every single weekend, i have class monday-thursday and when im not dealing (haha..i love how i say dealing) w/ those 2 things im hanging out w/ adam or alann and i are hanging out at the house prolly layin on the couches watchin 90210 or random prime time shows.

i would totally love to say that adam and i are doing wonderful, but the other day it seemed like every damn thing that came out of my mouth was the wrong thing, and to make a long story short he went to bed that night being seriously pissed at me. shit happens though..everything cant be wonderful all the time. we talked for a little bit last night, and our conversation was pretty normal. im goin to see him up at work here in about an hour so hopefully that'll be good. we havent seen each other in almost a week and thats WAY 2 long for me. other than the other night though everything is great b/w us. november 1st was 7 months for us, and that was a wonderful day. i still cant believe its been that long. time is going by oh so fast.

*yawn* i guess im done w/ this entry. i'll try to be good and update more often. have a good rest of the day kids!!

*madi rae*

howdy strangers! i know i havent updated in like freakin 4ever, and im sorry for that. i was giving one of my friends the link to my site, and i ended up here. its been way too long that i last wrote in here for me to update EVERYTHING that has gone on in my life so f that..i'll jus talk about 2day lol. im talkin to my friend john right now, who is over in iraq, and he's sayin that in 8 days he will be coming home..YAY!!!!!!!!!! thats the good news. the bad news is he's only gonna be here for 2 weeks and then he's goin back over there..boo!! i SO cant wait to see him though..its been a while. im excited about that though. we're gonna have starbucks time like back in the day..yay!!

im also goin to the OBGYN for the 1st time in my life 2day. my mom aint goin w/ me, and nobody else is. im kinda freaked out about it..well, im totally freaked out about it..ah!! all im gonna do is talk to her though. she aint gonna do anything to me at all..i dont care what she says. im fine w/ talking..talking is good. there's some crap i need to figure out about me anyways. so thats at 3pm today..everyone pray for me around that time.

b4 i go in there im gonna go up to adams work, and see him for a lil bit. he's got 3 tests this week so if i dont go see him at work then we wont be able to see each other until the weekend..boo!! i totally dont mind goin to see him at jersey mikes though..its a cool place. he looks so cute in his uniform though..hehe. him and i are great though. things couldnt be any better. im so incredibly happy its not even funny. oh he makes me feel so good inside. =) *i love you baby*

oh im tired of typing. ok..so this is all for now. hopefully i'll be good and keep updating on a normal basis again. bye kids!!

*madi rae*

Currently Listening Somewhere Down in Texas By George Strait *texas* see related

so im heading off to alabama here in a couple hours. i have 30 minutes to kill b4 i leave to go say bye to alann and adam. as i said, im leaving today in a couple of hours, and i'll be back next saturday afternoon some time. im kinda iffy bout bein gone next week. the house alann and i are moving into will pretty much be done so she's gonna be moving in and getting situated while im gonna be gone. im bumbed about that b/c im only gonna have like a day and a half to move in b4 school starts. done get me wrong, im totally excited bout goin to the beach and not doin a damn thing all week, but i kinda wanna be here so i can get moved in, and get things ready for school. oh well..guess u gotta do what you gotta do.

i most likely wont have internet acces so that means i wont be able to write until i get back next weekend..boo!! i'll survive i guess. at least i dont have to go all week w/out my cell phone. i would seriously die if that was the case. anyways, i guess this is it for a week. bye everyone..i love you all!!

*madi rae*

Currently Listening Vindicated By Dashboard Confessional see related

boo for it thundering like crazy outside and im all by myself.

boo for adam and i feeling the exact same way every night and we cant do anything about it.

boo for wanting to do things that you cant do at all.

boo for school starting in less than 2 weeks.

boo for leaving town for 6 days next week.

yay for FINALLY having sleepovers when i get home from alabama!!